WORDS TO PONDER

WORTHY NOTE # 1 -- ABSOLUTE YES

Brooke Medicine Eagle, and Indian wise woman, has shared the following: "If we could say 'No' to everything that was not an absolute 'YES' we would be as magnificent as we could be." I call this the Absolute Yes Principle. While it may be challenging at first to do it all the time, it works incredibly, and I hope you will give it a go. For me, this is a way of accessing the inner guidance which all of us have available, and which is ONE HUNDRED PER CENT accurate in leading us down a path of peace and joy. And for me this is very supportive of a relatively simple philosophy of life which I have adopted, to wit;
1) The only that is real or that matters is love;
2) All happy people automatically (and effortlessly) extend love;
3) Therefore, my one responsibility is to be happy.

WORTHY NOTE # 2 -- THE MIRROR PRINCIPLE

The "mirror principle" is a key to a life of freedom and peace. It can end the process of being a victim and lead to creating exactly what you want in your life. The principle says that any time you have a significant reaction to something in someone else, either positive or negative, it is because they are mirroring back to you something similar about yourself. THIS IS A 100% PRINCIPLE, it is always operating. Thus, it is never about your lover, or your boss, or your kids, or your roommate, etc., IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. Remember that there are no accidents or coincidences, we draw ALL of our experiences into our lives. While at times it may be difficult to accept this, if we are willing to honestly look closely at ourselves, we will discover what it is about ourself that is causing us to react. This can lead to the realization that it is always about us, and since we can change ourselves (but not others) we can (and do) have total control over our lives. It also can help when someone gets upset with us if we realize that it's not really about us, it's about them and we don't have to let it bother us. The mirror principle is why relationships are so valuable since it allows us to see and deal with things about ourselves about which we would not otherwise be aware. (It helps to be gentle with ourselves about these things in us that it brings up). This principle can lead to our taking much greater responsibility for (and control of our) lives, and ultimately will lead to much greater peace and happiness.

WORTHY NOTE # 3 -- CELEBRATE ONLY

“The intuitive Mind is a sacred gift, the rational mind a faithful servant. It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine.” Albert Einstein

Message From The Hopi Elders, 2001 “To my fellow swimmers: There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know that the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open and our heads above water. And I say: see who is there with you and celebrate. At this time in history we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves. Banish the word 'struggle' from your attitude and vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the one we have been waiting for.”

WORTHY NOTE # 4 -- A MAGIC FORMULA

Yes, there is a "magic" formula.
In the late seventies, someone that I cared about a lot got into what looked like some serious trouble that seemed to portend worst things to come. Feeling frantic, I began to think of possible solutions, many of which were extreme. At that time, I was attending a weekly study group on A Course In Miracles in Sausalito, and I brought the situation to the group seeking suggestions. The group offered many well meaning ideas. However, Jerry Jampolsky, who was a participant in the group at that time, said to me that the only way I can find the best answer was to seek guidance within. I did so, and as I was leaving the group meeting two weeks later I heard an inner voice say to me "do that which will allow you to feel loving towards [the person in trouble]." I began to do so. In each situation I asked myself which choice would allow me to feel more loving. I never offered advice or guidance, and if fact never said "I love you" since at that time in my life, I was not comfortable doing so. Yet the person began making amazing changes in their life. A few years later, I was dating a woman who worked for me at Rolling Hills. After a while, she broke off the relationship, and continued to work for me. Although I thought with all my therapy I was mature enough to handle the situation, we began to argue and constantly fight. As I sought to figure out what to do with the situation, since she was the mother of a six year old she was supporting, I remembered the guidance I had received in the first situation, and realized that if I fired her, I could come to feel loving towards her, while if I didn't, I would not feel loving. Thus, I fired her. While she was very angry with me, she went on to better job situations in her life. Three years later, we briefly came together again in what was for me an epiphany experience. Thus I came to realize that I had been given a gift, which is applicable all the time, to wit:
IN EVERY SITUATION ALWAYS MAKE THE CHOICE WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO FEEL LOVING (not the choice to get someone else to love you). This is the so called magic formula which I offer to you to integrate into your life.

Another quote for your consideration: "The only thing that prevents us from being happy all the time is expectations."                                                                            Ken Keyes,. Pathway To Higher Consciousness

WORTHY NOTE # 5 -- MOHR"S POSTUATION

Karl Mohr was a mental training coach for the U. of California, Berkeley, swim team the year they won the NCAA Championships.

Mohr's Postuation
1. The Universe is a teaching machine.
2. What it is teaching is WHAT WORKS.
3. It allows the freedom of making mistakes--a powerful learning mechanism--however, each time an error is repeated it raises the stakes.
4. People who are asleep pay a great price for the teaching; people who are awake pay a lesser price.
5. To learn WHAT WORKS life must be viewed as a process in which you are responsible.
6. If you learn WHAT WORKS you grow.
7. The result of growth is the experience of wholeness and fulfillment.
8. If you do not learn WHAT WORKS the Universe will make it very uncomfortable for you and this is a benevolent action because it will ultimately force your learning and therefore you fulfillment.
9. The final teaching of WHAT WORKS is harmonious relationship , which is to say, LOVE.

While I love what Karl says, I would have modified this to say that a part of us is the teacher, not the Universe.

WORTHY NOTE # 6  -- ESSENTIAL TO HURT THOSE YOU LOVE, PART 1

Okay, here we go. Before I get into the topic at hand, I feel it's essential that you understand that I believe and accept the following statement from page 448 of the text of A Course In Miracles. I can understand if you are challenged by it, and it's OK if you don't want to accept. But I do, and it has helped to make my life incredibly peaceful and happy.

"I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked. Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear. It is impossible that [you] be merely driven by events outside of [you]. It is impossible that happenings that come to [you] were not [your] choice. [Your] power of decision is the determiner of every situation in which [you] seem to find [yourself] by chance or accident. No accident nor chance is possible within the universe as God created it, outside of which is nothing."

WORTHY NOTE # 7 -- ESSENTIAL TO HURT THOSE YOU LOVE, PART 2

First of all, if you can get comfortable with the quote in Worthy 6, you are opening the door to having much greater control and freedom in your life.

Now, 1) If we create it all, then it is our choice whether we CHOOSE to feel hurt by something someone else says or does. This means that I am NOT responsible for hurting someone else's feelings; they did not have to choose it. Mind you, I am not suggesting that you act with the intention of hurting someone else because all attack is really self attack and really hurts you. In fact, I have gotten to a place in my life where I don't even want to kill ants that invade my kitchen. (And you know what, I hardly ever have ants invade my kitchen.)
2) Hopefully, the above will help you to get more comfortable with being true to yourself without worrying so much how another will react. BECAUSE, whenever you squeeze down your own energy by not following your absolute yes, you decrease the likelihood that you will allow love to flow from you. AND if you do it to not hurt someone else, you will start resenting that person, when it's YOU that is making the decision to do so.
3) My experience is that when you are in close relationship with another, it is virtually impossible to be true to yourself and not hurt another. The clothes I wear, my spiritual practice, the political party I support, the sports teams I like, the TV programs I watch, forgetting a date important to another, and on and on are all possible causes of another choosing to feel hurt. And if I don't do what is important to me to please the other, I can twist myself into a pretzel trying to please them, and eventually I will start resenting them even though I am making the choice to do so.
4) Later on, I will get into which relationships work, and which do not (what A Course In Miracles calls "holy" relationships versus "special" relationships). Just let me say for the moment that it is a losing game to attempt to make another happy. We can not have a need to feel loved be satisfied by another; we have to first love ourselves. And if we do not love ourselves, we CAN NOT truly love another.
5) Therefore, in order to keep ourselves in a place where we truly love another, we have to do things for ourselves which the other may choose to be hurt about.

An example from my own life: In 1960, after finishing law school and getting a Masters in Taxation, I left my mom and dad behind and moved to San Francisco. My dad went into a state of depression which he essentially was in for the rest of his life until he passed in 1971. Now, I had no idea that my leaving would have that effect on him (or that I was that significant to him). I would like to think that if I knew it would affect him that way, I would still have moved. It was very significant in my life to leave him and move out west. And if I had stayed home to please him, I know I would have ended up resenting him. As it was, I continued to love him, and we had a wonderful connection just before he passed. He left knowing he was loved by me.

I hope you are able to get comfortable with what I am about to say; The ONLY thing that we do of any significance in our lives IS TO EXTEND LOVE. Being successful, or creative, or helping others, or getting rich, etc. is all OK. IT JUST IS NOT SIGNIFICANT. Therefore, the only significant thing we do in any kind of relationship is to extend love. And to increase the likelihood that we will extend love, we MUST do that which makes us happy. And that means not doing things to please, or making sacrifices, or being "nice" when your absolute yes is the opposite. That's why I take the liberty of taking this to an extreme when I say it's "essential" to hurt the one you love.

I want to take this even further and close with this statement which came to me most unexpectedly through inner guidance. IN EVERY SITUATION, do that which will allow you to feel loving, not that which you think will get the other person to love you. ( I have described in my book a couple of situations in which I did this and the incredible outcomes which resulted caused me to realize that I had been given what I call a magic formula). If you start to practice this, I know you will begin to move down the path to greater and greater happiness, AND so will the other people in your life.

WORTHY NOTE # 8 -- EASY VS HARD

Easy vs. Hard is a choice (just like everything in life is a choice--sometimes it's an unconscious choice). "Everything in this world is neutral" (ACIM). In other worlds, nothing in our lives is inherently hard (or easy) but that we make it one way or the other. Many people believe in hard----thinking that something must be hard to be worthwhile (no pain, no gain). While that used to be true for me, it no longer is. One of the most joyous experiences of my life was playing a tennis match for the Club Singles Championship (which I lost by the way), and being what Arthur Ash called "in the zone." Everything seemed to be effortless. It was as if some force outside of myself was guiding my shots, and I was merely an observer. That was when I probably began to open up to the idea that easy may be better than hard, or at least as good. When I sold my business (the Rolling Hills Club) in 2002, I made a decision that for the rest of my life, I was only going to do things which were fun and easy. And you know, it's fascinating how solutions keep coming up which makes things easy for me. (The best suggestion I can offer along these lines is to make ALL decision by asking for inner guidance). This is another one of those belief creates reality things. I am sold on that. As a matter of fact, when I do motivational talks, I tell my audiences (and I'm telling you now) that one of the best things I can suggest if you want to change your life toward more happiness and peace of mind is "from this moment forward never make a negative or limiting statement about yourself" (nor entertain any such thoughts). Now don't start coming down on yourself if you forget. Just again commit to this, and watch your life change. And don't hang around people who make negative or limiting statements about you! How this stuff works is well spelled out in the DVD called The Secret. If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to do so. (You can get it at www.tut.com. I have purchased 160 copies to sell and give away). Why choose easy. Because it leaves you less stressed, and leaves more time for other things like fun, family, friends, exercise, recreation, hobbies, etc., in other words more time to lead a balanced life. OK, that will do it for tonight. Soon I will go into one of my favorite topics which I call Outrageous Ideas That Work In Relationships. Some of the things I say may shock or disturb you. That's alright. If it doesn't work for you, just ignore it. In fact, ignore EVERYTHING I say if it doesn't strike a responsive place somewhere in you. Nobody can really teach us ANYTHING, they can only remind us of what we already know.

WORTHY NOTE # 9  -- DONT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

Why "don't love thy neighbor". Because it doesn't work! Love can't be directed or ordered or even taught. "The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love's presence which is your natural inheritance." A Course In Miracles (ACIM), Introduction. OK, so what does work? How about "Love thyself. Thy neighbor will be loved." Get rid of all the "shoulds" in your life. Actions carried out because we believe we should do something DON'T WORK. Loving somebody because we think we should won't work. However, love's presence is our natural inheritance because God is love, and as a child of God, love is what WE are. And everyone is a child of God. Therefore if we focus on that which allows us to feel loving, to love ourselves because we are a child of God (whether or not we think we have screwed up), the inevitable result is that which we basically are (love) will flow (automatically and effortlessly) and our neighbor (and everyone else) WILL be loved. Since I believe that the only thing that we do of any significance is to extend love, and since when I am happy and peaceful, I automatically extend love, I operate on the premise that my one responsibility is to be happy, and that by so doing, I am in effect doing God's work. ("If you are not experiencing joy in every moment, you have forgotten who you are." ACIM) Perhaps this sounds selfish (I like to take the charge out of it by using the phrase "self concerned"). I think it's a perfect system. Do that which allows you to feel happy and peaceful and the world is saved. It's only when we allow the blocks to the awareness of love's presence to be in our lives (by sacrificing, or feeling guilty, or judging ourselves, etc.) that love does not flow, and the world becomes a mess. Joseph Campbell said it beautifully-"follow your bliss". Brooke Medicine Eagle said it beautifully--say no to everything that is not an ABSOLUTE YES. My inner guidance said it beautifully--in every situation do that which allows you to feel loving. This means that we can stop trying to figure things out. If we can just trust that by choosing to be truly happy (which by the way is never at anyone else's expense) it will ALWAYS work out best for everyone involved. Ergo, Don't Love Thy Neighbor.